"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." ~e e cummings

Thursday, May 18, 2017

7 1/2

Seven and a half is killing me. He is absent-minded and easily distracted. Bedtime and before school are the worst...it takes fifteen reminders before he completes tasks like brushing his teeth or putting his pajamas on. And when, by the fifteenth reminder, I have raised my voice in order to be heard, he looks at me with shock and irritation and demands to know why I'm always yelling.

We've been here before...he is our second child, of course...the arguing, the negotiating, the debating every single word that comes out of my mouth...what's new this time around, though is the sass. MY GOD THE SASS!

The stomping, the eye-rolling, the slamming of doors, the sassy tone where vowels are stretched to multiple syllables and every word ends with an -uh..."But, Mo-o-o-mm-uh! Whyyyyyy-uh?! That is so unfaaaairr-uh!"

I can't take much more of this.

Luckily, we're in the downward slide into summer and a looser schedule and fewer stressors and obligations are on our horizon. That's got to help, right?

And luckily, because he's the one and only Max, it's not all bad. He's still quick with the snuggles (and the "I'm sorry"s), and sprinkled in with the sass and 'tude have been some classic Maxisms. I just love the way he lives his life and sees the world.

The other day, he was listening to music on an old iPhone we keep just for the music. We've finally started paying for Apple's streaming service so he can listen to unlimited music without purchasing every song he wants to listen to. We've probably saved hundreds of dollars and close to a billion GBs of storage.

He popped out his earbuds and brought the phone in to me in the kitchen.

"Mom," he said. "There's this Katie Perry song I want to listen to. Can you listen to it first so you can make sure it's appropriate?

I was impressed by this responsible choice. We're pretty lax with our music censorship...we allow our kids to listen to just about anything as long as it's "radio friendly." They know, though, that Apple music does allow songs "with that little 'E' next to it," so I appreciated his caution, and let him know so.

"Wow. Sure, bud. I appreciate you asking me to do that."

He handed me the phone and the song "E.T." was queued up. Because I'm super lame, I wasn't familiar with it, so I pushed play.

A few bars of a drum beat and crescendo and Katie begins: "You're. So. Hypno-tiz-ing..."

Annnnnndd, then Max joins in: "...could you be the devil, could you be an angel..."

He proceeded to sing along, hitting every word, key change, and staccato'ed syllable flawlessly..."Kiss me, k-k-kiss me..."

I just stared at him. He was really feeling the music. I didn't want to interrupt. When it was over, I asked, "So this, just now, was the first time you've ever heard this song?"

His eyes got huge. "Um. Well. To be honest, no. I've heard it before. I've listened to it a lot, in fact. I just listened to it three times in a row just now."

"Mmm-hmmm..." I said, smiling.

"And...well...the other day, when I asked you what an extra-terrestrial was....? It was because I had heard about it in this song."

"I see..." I said, before pushing play one more time and joining in for the choruses.

The best thing about 7-year olds is how terrible they are at lying.


On library day this week, Max was packing his library books in his backpack. For the second week in a row, he read an entire Wings of Fire chapter book in the seven days between check-out and due date.

"I can't believe I read the whole book before I had to return it," he gushed, so proud of his achievement.

"I know, bud! You really worked hard to make that happen."

"Well, yeah, but it's because I'm older now. I don't get bored reading a lot like I did in Kindergarten," he reasoned.

"You're also a stronger reader now than you were in Kindergarten," I answered.

He paused, thoughtful for a minute.

"You know how I lay on my belly in my bed to read? Like with my book on my pillow and my elbows are holding me up?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I used to read like that, too."

"Well, sometimes my arms and shoulders start to hurt. Is that the burn?"

"The burn?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah, the burn. You said I was a stronger reader now. Is that because I've been feeling the burn?"

And then I just LOL'ed all the live long day.

Lesson Learned:

This kid. Thank goodness for this kid. And thank goodness for the hilarity that comes out of his mouth that helps temper the rage I feel when he cocks his hip, crosses his arms across his chest, and rolls his eyes at me for the tenth time in a day. This dramatic diva drives me nutty...but oh, I love him so.

1 comment :

  1. I could have written this blog post (yet again). My lovely lady is really feeling it right now with our kids. The middle one and the seven-and-a-half year old both. Your first paragraph is our lives right now. Oh, and I'm always ragging them about the extra syllables: they really annoy me.

    It's good to know we're not alone. You're not alone either.

    We're just separated by an ocean.

    Have a great day.