"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." ~e e cummings

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Winter, We're Done: A Break-Up Story

As I sit here drinking my cup of hot coffee, watching the snow fall outside my window and listening to my kids bicker after not enough school and too much togetherness, I'm struck with a single thought: Winter, We're Done.

It's March. My daffodils are starting to peek up through the mulch. I'm ready for short sleeves and warm days at the park and open windows and sunshine. I'm over you, Winter...but it's not because I don't like you.

I chose to live in a place where I would experience all four seasons and, while I might have a special place in my heart for late spring and early fall, I love each of you because mostly, I love the change. But damn, Winter, talk about over-staying your welcome. Where were you in December when we were all eagerly awaiting cozy jammy days and mugs of hot cocoa? Where were you when we were dreaming of a white Christmas? You showed up in January and it was beautiful and fresh and quiet and perfect--the start of a wonderful relationship. Then you hung around in February and it was sledding and snowball fights and Do You Want to Build a Snowman? and Yes! Yes, we did! We were happy. We were comfortable.

But now it's March, Winter, and this just isn't working for me anymore. I need to move on. I'm ready for crocuses and picnics and water balloon fights. I'm asking you politely to please just go. Don't be that guy who hangs around post-break-up, making it all weird for everyone.

To be perfectly honest, you're already making things kinda weird for us. You do realize that you're responsible for creating the newest battlefield in the Mommy Wars, right? Here we were, finally starting to realize that it doesn't f*ing matter if you breast or bottle feed, or co-sleep or Ferberize, or stay at home or work full-time. We were finally starting to just Live and Let Live.

And then, you came in.

You and your Snow Days.

Do you want to know what's clogging up my Facebook page these days?

"Ugh. Not another Snow Day. What the hell am I going to do with these kids all day?"

...to which other moms are responding along the lines of: "You should be be happy to have extra time with your kids. Don't you love them? Why'd you have kids if you don't want to spend time with them."

On the flip side, there are the posts like:

"Hooray! Snow Day! I just LOVE these extra days with my sweet kids! I hope we NEVER go back to school!"

...which make all the moms who are pulling their hair out as their kids beat the shit out of each other with foam swords feel like they're failing at Snow Day Parenting.

Can you believe that, Winter? This is how we're talking to one another and how we're making our fellow moms feel now and, while I'm not saying it's all your fault, I'm just saying that we didn't treat each other like this in the fall....

And don't even get me started on the damage you've done to the relationship between parents and school systems. Regardless of the weather and regardless of their decision, schools can't win when it comes to Winter Weather cancellation and delay policies.

"School is CANCELLED? But there's only the CHANCE of snow! Who's in charge of making these decisions anyway?!"

"Two-hour delay?! There's no WAY I'm putting my kid on a school bus with these road conditions! Who's in charge of making these decisions anyway?!"

"With all of these snow days, we're going to be going to school until the Fourth of July! Good luck getting the kids to pay attention!"

It's like one big bitchfest around here, Winter, and I just can't listen to it anymore.

So, I'm ending it.

I'm ready to wash those snow pants and mittens, pack up the boots and sleds, and ditch the hot cocoa for lemonade. I'm ready for Spring.

Lesson Learned:
It would be easier to quit you...
I just wish you weren't so damn beautiful, Winter...

1 comment :

  1. I'm with you on that. I'm sick of the cold. I want to get out of these long trousers for another year, thank you very much but, although there's no snow here, it's still cold. And I'm bored of cold.

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