Because if he did, and if he had, then surely his deepest, darkest level of hell would be that the damned would all turn into lactating mothers tethered to their steering wheels, forced to endure the heart-wrenching, unrelenting screams of their newborn baby as they drive in heavy traffic. And they have to stop at red lights every 100 yards. And with every teeny baby howl, the mothers' milk bursts in, which, outside of hell, is pure biological perfection....but trapped in a car is useless and increasingly physically uncomfortable. And there's a two-year old in the back of the car as well, telling the baby to "Just Stop CRYING!" in a somewhat-less-than-sympathetic tone of voice.
And it NEVER ENDS.
This is how we spend our preschool drop-off and pick-up car trips. It's not hyperbole when I say that it IS my own personal hell.
This poor, sweet baby girl, who is an absolute dream baby nearly every other moment of the day, Hates The Car. I know it will pass (or it won't and I'll be the one lucky mama who doesn't have to worry about my daughter getting into cars with older boys fifteen years from now--shudder). And luckily, we only HAVE to get in the car three days a week (a just-discovered benefit to the three-full-day vs. five-half-day preschool schedule). But those six less-than-fifteen minute trips are nearly unbearable.
After drop-off this morning, we were supposed to go to Target. I assumed that, at some point, the screaming would stop and she'd fall asleep. She didn't. I was on the verge of (more) tears and my pre-baby less-than As were Full-to-Bursting Bs. Instead of completing the errands, we drove past Target and headed straight home.
The irony? I was headed to Target because I was completely out of nursing pads.
Tomorrow is not a school day. We'll leave the house, but only on foot (with baby happily in-pouch). And instead of stressing over screaming, we'll all enjoy this happy, contented, beautiful baby girl. This girl...
My super-snuggly, good-sleeping, super-eating, taking-it-all-in, bright-eyed beauty. And, to be perfectly honest, she's otherwise so contented, I'm kind of happy to see the Dragon come out every now and then. A little bit of feistiness is a good thing. Baby Girl knows how to make her voice heard.