If you only have one child and are contemplating having a second, there may be a part of you that is worried that the Second Baby will do nothing but ruin the life of your First Baby. Even if you KNOW that you want more than one child, you may still be concerned about how your heart will fit the love for more than one...after all, it's already bursting at the seams.
And you're sad to think of your time, that is now dedicated to the care, entertainment, and need-fulfillment of your Baby, that will have to be divided between two. How will you manage to be everything to both of them all at the same time?
And then, there's the sibling rivalry. You're envisioning a lifetime of resentment; of bitterness and competition, pitting your two children against one another as they both vie for the attention and affection of you, their only Mother.
But just you wait.
There will be less-than-Rockwell moments, to be sure, but the good will outweigh the bad by a factor of a million. Your heart will grow to hold them both, with room to spare. But more than that, you will bear witness to evidence of their love for each other, and those moments will replace any fears you had prior to or during your pregnancy. You will realize, a million times over before that Second Baby even turns two years old, that you didn't ruin anything for the First. You gave him the Very Best Gift you could ever give him. And you'll be filled with happy anticipation of how the addition of the Third will only Triple the Love Fest.
And all will be right in the world.
Today was a Rockwell kind of a day. (Well, after the banshee screaming that accompanied a tug-of-war over the Big Dump Truck, which ended with the Big Dump Truck in Toy Time Out and both boys claiming innocence and outrage over the injustices of the world....but we'll just focus on the Love Fest that followed...)
Max woke up from nap with time to spare for a quick snuggle and a snack before it was time to pick Evan up from school. When it was time to go, I asked Max to find his shoes.
"Go get Evan?" he asked.
"Yup, it's time to pick up Evan."
"Yes. School is over, so it's time to bring him home."
"Oh.....YAY!....I miss Evan!"
And my heart filled to the brim.
We arrived at school to find a very happy big brother, who came running over to us with a huge smile on his face and arms outstretched. I started to bend down to catch his hug, when I realized that he wasn't aiming for me...
"MAX!!" he called, as he enveloped his brother in a rare not-too-tight hug.
"I miss you Evan!" Max responded.
As they continued to hug, Ms. S smiled over their heads and said to me, "We talked about friends today and Evan had a LOT to say about his 'best friend,' Max."
And my heart started to overflow just a bit.
"Close your eyes, Max," said Evan, "I have something to show you."
Max closed his eyes and Evan led him over to the cubby area. He opened all three zippered pockets of his backpack, digging around for the surprise. Max waited patiently with his eyes closed, every few seconds saying, "Okay, Evan. My eyes closed."
And then Evan found them...
"They're Friendship Bracelets, Max!" he said, as he put one around Max's wrist. "I made one for me and one for you. We're best friends."
"Wow!" said Max, "Fank you, Evan!"
And my heart split wide open.
Have that second baby. And then a third.