"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." ~e e cummings

Monday, January 31, 2011

Tiger Mother: Part 1

Reasons why I could never be a Tiger Mother:

1) I actually DO believe that everyone is special in their own special way.

2) I actually DO NOT believe that crafts are meaningless and lead nowhere. It's not always the product, it's the process. But, I guess that's sort of anti-Tiger Mother (and anti-6-hour violin practice session), too.

3) I praise my kids. A lot. Evan draws a squiggle on a page and I say, "Great writing, tell me what it says." Max signs "please" (or maybe he's just scratching his tummy...?) and I say, "Such nice manners, my sweet boy!" I praise them when they help out, I praise them when they jump really high, I praise them when they eat a good dinner, I praise them when they play nicely together, I praise them when they throw a ball kinda far. I praise them because it feels good to praise and to be praised, but I do it also because I just can't help it. I'm So Proud of my boys that sometimes the pride and love just burst out of me in the form of a hearty, "GREAT JOB, MY LOVE!" It's not my fault....have you met my kids?

4) I guess it's because I'm an American, but I'm just too Weak and Lazy to be a Tiger Mother. Who has the patience to enforce SIX HOURS of violin practice with an unwilling 6-year old violinist?! Who has the time?

5) I think it's mean to deny kids time for free-play. My whole life right now is all about playtime. There are teachable moments in that playtime, to be sure, and Evan goes to school/we run errands/etc., but I'm making a concerted effort to encourage MORE free play time and less Structure during our unstructured times. My kids are three and one. Playing is what they should be doing. They have their whole lives to work.

6) I will never, ever insult my kids. Ever. If one of my kids is overweight, I WILL encourage healthy eating habits and exercise. I will NOT call him or her fat. He or she will get that message loud and clear the very first time he or she opens a magazine or watches television. If one of my kids struggles in school, I will NEVER say the words dumb or stupid. I will help my child to work hard and to meet his or her potential. There are many definitions of success, and I will support my kids until they discover theirs. The world can be harsh and cold. I will be loving and warm. I will be honest, but I will be kind. I will provide my kids the safe place that every child (person) needs. My children will always know that, in terms of Who They Are, they can do no wrong.

Lesson Learned:
I'm only through Part 1 of the book. More opinions to come, to be sure...

1 comment :

  1. Wouldn't it be interesting if "Tiger Mother" is really just a plot to make moms react like you have and encourage their kids to play more?? :)