Okay. Well....I've been pretty interested in the field of Noetic Sciences ever since reading The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. Noetic Science is basically the science of mind over matter. It's seeking to discover how powerful the mind truly is, and why, when many minds together are focused on the same thing, they can seemingly change the world. It's the science behind The Secret and Prayer Circles. I've never put much stock in the "power of prayer," for reasons too lengthy to get into here, but I do believe in science. And Noetic Science helps me to bridge the gap between what I do believe and what I want to believe. I want to believe that I am responsible for what comes my way. That I get what I wish for....good or bad, it's mine.
It looks as though I've been running a little Noetic Science Experiment here and I would like to take a moment now to declare to the Universe: I TAKE IT BACK. EVERYTHING I'VE SAID ABOUT ANXIETY AND ANGST ABOUT SENDING MY BABY AWAY: I TAKE IT ALL BACK. I DO WANT EVAN TO GO TO PRESCHOOL. AND I'LL BE HAPPY ABOUT IT. I PROMISE.
Here's the story:
Yesterday afternoon we were playing upstairs and Evan was climbing on his little toddler slide/climbing thing. He climbed over the side wall and landed on the slide platform right on his knee. He was pretty broken up about it. He whimpered and cried for a little bit, but was also unusually clingy...typically he refuses attention post-injury, afraid we'll stick a band-aid on him or worse, an ice pack. And most alarming, he couldn't straighten his leg or put any weight on it. So we had a quiet afternoon and by dinnertime he was up running around like usual. While playing outside before bath, though, he somehow re-injured his knee...we're not sure what happened, but it was the same thing all over again--curled up, knee to chest...this time, with screaming...not like yelling screaming, but I'm In Pain screaming. This lasted until he was in bed, at which point he curled up into a little ball and slept right through the night.
This morning, he seemed fine. He even announced over breakfast, "You know something? My knee is feeling a whole lot better this morning," just like an Old Man would say. We went to playgroup and he played with the other kids without a hint of discomfort.
And then this afternoon, he was crawling around on the floor playing with Max. Mid-crawl, he collapsed to the floor, hugging his knee, and sobbing. He sobbed, and yelled out in pain when I tried to touch his knee, for half-an-hour. I called the pediatrician's office, who recommended that we take him to Ortho-On-Call. We did. They x-ray'd his knee. Evan did great.
The x-ray revealed that he has no kneecap!!!
Just kidding. Well, he doesn't have a kneecap, not a real one, anyway, but that's normal. Three-year-olds have a flexible, cartiledgey thing like a kneecap, but it hasn't ossified yet. You learn something new everyday.
There's a small grayish blurry spot on the inside of his knee joint that the Physician's Assistant wasn't too happy to see. He recommended an immobilizing splint and a referral to a Pediatric Orthopedic Specialist. We said No Thank You to the immobilizing splint (because we can't even get this kid to wear a hat, much less an immobilizing splint the length of his leg), but "Okay, yes we suppose we should" to the referral.
There will be no highly-anticipated and fretted-over Preschool Drop-Off tomorrow. We'll be at the Pediatric Orthopedic Specialist.
Are my anxieties, worries, and subconscious desires for Evan to stay home with me forever to blame for this turn of events?!
No, because above all, what I TRULY and WHOLE-HEARTEDLY want, more than my own life itself, is for my children to be happy, fulfilled, and without pain for the duration of theirs.
But just to be on the safe side:
I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY want Evan to have a WONDERFUL first day of school on TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2010.
Be careful what you wish for.