"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." ~e e cummings

Thursday, September 2, 2010

preschool diaries: entry #1

To say that I am having some Preschool Anxiety is a bit of an understatement. More accurate would be: That Crazy Overprotective Mommy is Having Really Ridiculous Preschool Anxieties. Plural.

Anxiety #1: With the exception of the 2 days that I was in the hospital, having just GIVEN BIRTH TO HIS BROTHER, I have never spent three consecutive hours away from Evan. Preschool will demand this of me two times a week.

Anxiety #2: My biggest goal is to NOT make Evan's food allergies his defining characteristic, yet, it's all I think about when I think of sending him to school. What if his teacher forgets and lets an unsafe treat get into his hands? What if the kids don't wash their hands well enough after slurping down GoGurt on the way to school? What if some Big Bully from the 4-year old class slips Evan a Goldfish cracker on the playground? What if, someday, Evan feels left out because of his allergies? What if, someday, Evan, in an effort to fit in, eats it anyway?

Anxiety #3: My little boy is many things. He can be stubborn as all hell. He can be demanding and rigid and incapable of compromise or change. But he is sweet. He is loving and compassionate and thoughtful. He is SMART. He is creative and imaginitive and curious. He knows facts about trucks and animals and the ways of the world that would surprise you. He asks "Why?" altogether too much, but the other questions he asks are brilliant. He is funny. What if the teachers don't get to see all of these sides of him? What if he isn't able to let his true self shine while in the company of classmates or teachers?

There are more. But these are the biggies. And the closer we're getting to the First Day, the louder the voices in my head are getting. So I'll be writing about preschool here for awhile. It will be therapeutic. And we can all applaud my progress as a Preschool Mommy, or laugh at my failure to deal, by the number of "sessions" it takes me to get a grip on this new reality.

Here goes....

Lesson Learned:
Okay, if I'm still therapy-blogging about this in October, it's time to call in the reinforcements.

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